There is a shared understanding that being a parent to an ill child presents immense difficulties and emotional strain. It is always heartwarming to see joyous expressions on the faces of the children staying at our House. Behind all these courageous, happy smiles are the unparalleled strength and dedication of motherhood that knows no bounds. Phoebe, the mother of a four-year-old boy Pak Yin who was diagnosed with leukemia, stands as one of the shining exemplars and she tells us her journey from discovering and accepting to battling the illness of her son.
Pak Yin and his parents emigrated to the UK two years ago. Last year, during a trip to visit their family in Hong Kong, he suffered from a fever on and off continuously and was later diagnosed with leukemia at the Hong Kong Children’s Hospital.
“We were dumbfounded hearing the news,” says Phoebe. Unlucky is as lucky does, and thanks to the determination of Phoebe and her husband to cure their son, they made quick decisions regarding Pak Yin’s treatments every time even though it meant to temporarily leave their lives in the UK.
“It was a big decision to leave our house, our jobs, and even our two beloved cats in the UK behind. But we cannot risk delaying Pak Yin from receiving treatment either,” explains Phoebe. Challenges that came along with Pak Yin’s treatments were financial issues and housing arrangements. “We were approached by a medical social worker almost immediately to refer us to RMHC Hong Kong which helped us settle the biggest issue of accommodation we faced at the time.”
Before learning about RMHC Hong Kong, renting an apartment close to the Hong Kong Children’s Hospital first came to her mind. However, given the considerations of a hygienic environment and financial pressure, Phoebe finally decided to temporarily stay at our House.
Besides taking care of Pak Yin 24/7, giving him the right message about his illness is a foremost task to Phoebe, despite his young age. “I use the storytelling way to let him know what is going on and why that happened to him. This is useful as this gives him the knowledge to understand why he has to endure physical discomfort.”
A mother’s emotions are intricately tied to the well-being of her ill child, this is no exception to Phoebe. She admits she doesn’t have the capacity to care for her own because she feels relieved only when Pak Yin is healthy and happy. However, Phoebe thinks that the mechanism of mutual understanding and support provided by RMHC Hong Kong greatly reduces the pressure she is facing.
Some side issues induced by the medicine could be increases in appetite and mood changes, such as irritability. “Fortunately, other families and staff here are very accepting and understanding of the situation. Imagine if we weren’t staying here but renting an apartment, how would our neighbors think of us when there is a sudden outburst of anger from Pak Yin.”
On asking what she wants people to know about the experiences and challenges faced by mothers of ill children, Phoebe ponders then says: “We are not asking for anything but understanding. We hope people would not jump to a conclusion or make complaints immediately if they see a child acting grumpy in public, because behind their grumpiness could be a long and ongoing battle against a disease.”
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